Nowadays, the debate that is between children’s right and adults’ responsibility has often appeared on our society and the law which can protect children has adjudicated in some countries. In other words, the issue which is about not only protection for children but also performance of adults’ duties has been constantly discussing these days. Some assert children’s rights are equal to the right to religious freedom or freedom of speech and other people maintain that ‘majority of parents admit to smacking children’.
Actually, it seems that the view for the issue is different from in Eastern and Western societies. In Eastern society, that is to say, the parents are likely to believe that the upright smacking is an essential method for their children more than the parents in Western society. Also, opinions about smacking could be shown differently in age groups. For example, parents in old generation may strongly agree with that smacking is necessary to educate children than young parents do. On the other hand, we are easily faced with some situations that non-smackers are unable to control their children when they run riot in our daily life. Likewise, we often come in contact with the news about the negative effect of smacking on children. For this reason, ‘what is an honest method to discipline children?’ is emerged as an issue.
From my point of view, smacking would have more negative aspects than positive ones because it is probably that the smackers tend to smack their children randomly without any rules. As it is appeared in a report, disciplining their children with random smacks and angry words seem to have little effect. And the fact that smacked kids, especially toddlers, have problems to be grown up enough to go to stool by themselves or fall into a fit of convulsions during sleeping is well known as a bad effect of smacking as common sense. In addition, another example of bad side of smacking is that ‘smacking can turn into children criminals’. It means that smacked children are able to imitate acts of adults in spite of themselves and it can be a big social problem later on. I think feelings of humans cannot be exactly defined with any words or sentences so there is possibility that children distort the intention of their parents when they accept it with their own views. Namely, sense of betrayal that is gained when children are smacked by beloved parents can be built up on their minds and it can be grown as hatred against the society beyond their parents. I totally agree with this because I am the person who believes that a person’s life can be decided by trauma which is formed in his childhood. Also, parents might feel guilty and frustrated about the fact that they lost their presence of mind or rationalities and could not control their children.
Contrary to this, however, if children were controlled without any strong restraints, they would be offered the chance which confuses liberty with license. In a research, aggressive parenting style can be a cause of bad behaviours of kids as hostile parenting can be. That is, it is possible that children without any restrictions have selfish personalities or have no consideration for their friends. Therefore, parents have to endeavour to use the adequate method of education which is correspond to smacking and need to decide feasible plans after consultation with their children. For instance, parents can suggest making a chair called ‘thinking chair’ or a space called ‘thinking zone’ first, then give time to children to be convinced of their errors by themselves or laying down a rule like ‘time out’ that can restrict children’s activities within the time limit. The most important thing is that adults help children recognize that they do mistakes and attempt not to repeat their mistakes again by themselves, not by external pressure. Moreover, some parenting programmes which provide the right directions are needed continuously for the parents who have followed the wrong disciplines.
It is not easy to discriminate between right and wrong. However, if something has more merits that can obtain everyone’s approval, it will not be difficult to recognize that it is right. Parents should make deliberate choices for the bright future as well as for their children.
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4 comments:
Hey seung hee..wow im the first 1 giving u a comment.haha.Well i really find your topic interesting as this is quite famous especially in NZ.i think last they was a big case about smaking..and at the end they came to a conculsion that it is not allowed to smack children..I think in my opinion its how u smack kid...some parents go overboard by beaiting up their children..i think there must be a limit...I think sometimes as they say spoild the rode spoil the child...some kids are very naughty and of course the traditional is to smack the child...but of course nowdays its differnt...I think it jsut depends on the situation and how u smack the child..but i guess parents dont have to do it all the time unless the kid is too naughty...=)what do u think?
As I first read this, and read the word smacking, I of coarse thought of children getting a spank on the bum for being naughty. But I don't think that that sort of smacking is going to cause things like convulsions or potty problems. I think you must be talking about kids getting punched in the head or something. I think that that is WAY out of line. Spanking shouldn't be happening early, only after things like potty training have occured and the child now has a bit more maturity, and THEN decides to act up (like in an uncontrollable way), THEN they need a good hard spank.
If you aren't spanking their bottoms, then you are going to be trying to reason with a child. In my experience, I know some kids who are unreasonable, they won't listen and just cause general devastation to any environment. Why would clearly letting them clearly know that that behavior is inappropriate by giving them a little spank be punishable by law? Spanking is more an emotional shock used to correct, not a horribly inhumane form of physical abuse....
Is there cultural differences here? European kiwis usually only got smacked on the bum or palm, Sometimes with a belt, or wooden spoon. I know I never wanted to be smacked, so I was good as.
Hey Sung Hee, first of all-
I really like your topic of "Smacking is good? or Bad?" beacause I was always interested in the area of education, I agree with the facts of establishing an opportunity for the children to reflect on themselves without pressuring or forcing them to change. By doing this way, would make children to respect their parents and gain a self-confidence.
Overall, the most important thing that children need in order to become an effective citizen in the society is the "Love" abd "Care" from their parents.
Hey Sunghee,
it's an interesting topic to me. I always agree smacking is good. And I know one of the law in NZ is parents or teachers cannot smack children otherwise they'll be arrested. I think it's totally ridiculous. If a child is very naughty and does not have penalties, he/she won't learn from the mistakes. No one knows if this will ruin their future or not.
I mean, if they only do something wrong but not a big deal, smacking is no good, but it can affect others seriously, smack them to let them learn is a good method.
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